The Biggest Sell-out

I suppose we should all be used to people we respect selling themselves out by now. All the big athletes do it to supplement their modest incomes. Actors and musicians do it. Hell, even local news celebs do it occasionally. But there is one that puts my jockies in a bind more than all the others. I used to respect him immensly, but now it's all I can do to keep from vomiting every time I hear that fat man's name.
That's right. I'm here to accuse the big guy himself, Santa Claus, of being a disgusting sell-out. He used to be a symbol of charitable giving, now he is a symbol of Coca-Cola, and Best Buy, and Verizon Wireless. I guess it's not enough to be the spirit of giving, he's got to be the spirit of commercialism, too. Giving wasn't lining his wallet the way he would have liked.
Curse you, Claus! Have you no integrity? Have you no self worth? Think of the children! They need a selfless hero to look up to, not a product spokesman.
Perhaps I shouldn't be so hard. I'm sure the elven labor union has been on his back, and workers comp insurance has gotta take its toll. I hear those elven toy factories are death traps.
Still, he could be a little more choosey with which products he endorses. Maybe Slim Fast shakes, or Bally's Total Fitness, eh Fat Man? Let's send a possitive message here.
Gah! I am too filled with rage to type anymore!